got the speakers set up. they’re not mounted on the wall yet but that should be taken care of in the next week or so. 神のご加護を。I have been avidly listening to music since I got them hooked up. I put Om chanting on a little while ago though and I feel like I’m entering another plane. Better brush my teeth before I fall asleep. Tomorrow will be art and yoga. yay!
and when I write, I try not to delete things but i ultimately edit a lot, and hazardly because my backspace key takes out my buffer in chunks.
currently, i wonder about my capacity for self sabotage. it’s terrible.
i just feel horrible about what i said to Jordan and moreover what i did in that upset state.
I woke up a little earlier than usual, showered, and got a Lyft with Michael this morning to go to the studio where I participate in an art program. Spent the whole morning painting and chatting with Abelardo. I painted 2 watercolors of sakura and a fairly tasteless pattern (well, I imagine it tastes like acrylic paint) that I will treasure because it’s the first large painting I’ve tried at, and I did actually have a concept in mind when I plotted it out, it’s just that I didn’t make up my mind whether to blend or not blend the sections.
After art session was over, Abelardo walked me to the bus station where I discovered that the value on my Sun Go card had expired and missed the bus in the process of replacing it. So I walked to a Vietnamese restaurant across from the station there on 6th Street and had the best spring rolls I’ve had since my dad drove me from Colorado to Tucson in 2014. That was the most amazing sunset of my life. Thank you Google for keeping that video in your generous servers. Back to lunch, when I got up to go to the bathroom I saw someone I recognized – Son, my former boss, from a job I didn’t really have to quit but it only made sense to at the time. Looking back at this decision I think I was kind of a fool. However, in the moment, he recognized me too, he just couldn’t remember my name and I don’t blame him because I only worked for him 2 weeks. It was a good job that paid what I expected and was only for 3 hours a day. Problem was that little wage worth was getting spent at the bakery on meals every day easily and then some, sometimes, and the whole point of me getting a job was to supplement my former partner’s income at the time. Granted it wasn’t really always my decision to eat there but all in all working for Son was a good experience. Would do it again. A++ Taught me a little about what an idiot I am sometimes. It’s good to learn those lessons as permanently as possible, to avoid repeating the idiocy. Taught me to deal with people and to avoid resting bitch face.
the concert was all of the enchantment and wonder that I felt held in promise to me with flawless performances of all their greatest tracks in a generous helping from their three albums and ep, and several new tracks on a yet to be released album coming soon. the highlight of my evening was getting a halfway decent reel of Mister Impossible for my instagram feed.
then, Thursday, I made a painting of the symbol, for Om (Aum) which is pictured in my instagram feed, it is gold on a dark purple circle on a red background. I chose to give it as a gift to Bob.
Now it is just after Friday, and I am drinking kombucha and discovering that it’s too late to get a group together in World of Warcraft. Had some good conversation but gonna chill, meditate, and then sleep now so time for me to quit yappin’.
I finally got my hard copy of Fear Inoculum. I will treasure it. It is yet another amazing work of art from TOOL and Alex Grey that is worthy of reflection.
I’m still amped for the Phantogram concert tonight, I can’t wait to hear Mister Impossible live!
being in love with mister impossible (the song) is something I can fathom and I guess it’ll have to do for my love quota. it’s not like I’m afraid to love the universe and have it love me back. I’m just bashful, and I do, in fact, love the universe. But really, as I am here, will I have another? I have been content in this child-free adulthood and I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t want to assume, I don’t want any bullshit. However, my mister impossible can be very influential when he manifests. So I deal with things one encounter at a time. And I keep learning.
My word. The album Fear Inoculum is outstanding. And I’m psyched cause I’m going to see Phantogram with friends in Tucson たぶんそこで会いましょう。My vibration is starting to rise and I feel a sense of triumph and fearlessness that I haven’t felt for a few years. 心配です-(Shinpaidesu. But only in that part of my mind that I tuck away in the closet for it can’t be removed.) Listening to Orbital’s “Monsters Exist” again and I’m loving the promise you made to me. Tell the world “Be Real” and it will be. I have been fathoming this for far too long. I’m not about to waste it. So I feel like, with the equipment I’ve got to run Sims 4 and simulate a life, God’s gotta have some amazing, mind-boggling tech to simulate our universe.
Oh, and happy Final Fantasy VIII Remastered for Switch release day. It is also my birthday.