being in love with mister impossible (the song) is something I can fathom and I guess it’ll have to do for my love quota. it’s not like I’m afraid to love the universe and have it love me back. I’m just bashful, and I do, in fact, love the universe. But really, as I am here, will I have another? I have been content in this child-free adulthood and I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t want to assume, I don’t want any bullshit. However, my mister impossible can be very influential when he manifests. So I deal with things one encounter at a time. And I keep learning.
My word. The album Fear Inoculum is outstanding. And I’m psyched cause I’m going to see Phantogram with friends in Tucson たぶんそこで会いましょう。My vibration is starting to rise and I feel a sense of triumph and fearlessness that I haven’t felt for a few years. 心配です-(Shinpaidesu. But only in that part of my mind that I tuck away in the closet for it can’t be removed.) Listening to Orbital’s “Monsters Exist” again and I’m loving the promise you made to me. Tell the world “Be Real” and it will be. I have been fathoming this for far too long. I’m not about to waste it. So I feel like, with the equipment I’ve got to run Sims 4 and simulate a life, God’s gotta have some amazing, mind-boggling tech to simulate our universe.
Oh, and happy Final Fantasy VIII Remastered for Switch release day. It is also my birthday.
こんにちは。 I’m learning Japanese using the Rosetta Stone software and writing is coming a bit more slowly than reading. Although Japanese is significantly harder than Spanish for a native English speaker, I think I’m enjoying it more. My brain doesn’t soak up stuff as fast as it used to though, unfortunately. I can’t cram a lot of lessons all at once because it feels less tangible when I exceed my pace. I’m amused that I envy machine learning in some ways but I’m quite happy being an organic computer and dealing with using my senses to introduce data to my system.
I don’t just want to, I will be moving more although it might be indoors due to the summer heat. I’m aiming to be less sad, but recently it’s been nightmares in dreamland. I don’t expect to get less sad playing WoW, so I may back out of the game before it picks up. Break the cycle of defeat.
So I’m stuck on a hunt in Final Fantasy 12, entitled “God or Devil?” The boss I’m seeking in this hunt is called The Seer. I’m amused. Can’t find it so far as I’ve tried solving the puzzle of the pedestals in Pharos – Subterra. I suppose I’ll look it up.
On another note:
One facet of me is worried about being misunderstood but I’m not sure I even understand me so I pursue techniques to know myself better. Meditation and prayer really seems to help. I feel more resolve when I do.
And if I had a point, it was that I hallucinated alternate realities intensely. Different from dreaming in the sense that I was awake and sensing things normally beyond my senses.
My struggle is moderating my sense of self when my brain is trying to pull words out of the universal mind lattice.